On Relationships and Shared Cultural References, Or Lack Thereof

What could have been, should have been a typical courtship of a series of texts followed by a phone call or two and then a date, something like lunch or dinner and a movie and mini-golf, was instead his mom dying of Alzheimer’s, my mom and her Alzheimer’s, Covid, and his nursing-home residing dad testing positive for Covid. We met online, we lived online as one does now, and thus the conversations often went like so.

Text:

Me: Good day?

Him: Dad not eating again and has a fever. Took x-rays and blood.

Me: Not a good day.

Text:

Him: Hey there. I’m in VT.

Me: I’m back in CT. On care duty every weekend but trying to make it every other. Exhausted.

Eight months into whatever this was, unlabeled, unprecedented, unregulated, came a night in December when we were both in the same state. A rare Friday night first in the brick and glass loft, technically a second date, exciting but strained by ongoing isolation. We were in the clear 14 days before and at least ten after. The window was now briefly open.

Take out: Calamari, salad, garlic bread, ravioli, chicken parmigiana, and a side of spaghetti. I had just enough. He ate too much, admitted it, and so we watched reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond on the couch, learning when each other would laugh. I tried to snuggle but he threw up his hands “No Touching!” Arrested Development style and so I settled for only our bare feet skin against skin. I wondered if we would touch once dinner digested, somewhat lost in a protocol-less unfamiliar territory of pandemic dating. It was a planned overnight and I was slightly nervous.

Would the bed be comfy? It was. Would we still be attracted? We were. Twice. And then morning came and he was off to VT and I was off to MA. Again.

Text:

Me: Here’s what I’ve been thinking. In my head I picture you as Mr. Incredible bc of your football shoulders. Tell me you’ve seen that movie smiley emoji.

Him: No idea on that movie.

Me: What? You are culturally deprived. Trailer.

Me: Wait wrong trailer. Hold on.

Him: Never saw it.

Me: I’m trying to flirt with you and I’m failing miserably.

Him: LMAO

S shared few cinematic references with me. Was I really going to gauge the sustainability of our relationship on a 52 year old single guy’s knowledge of Pixar? Yes, yes I was. I already knew he had never seen Jurassic Park.